Wheel 3 of 4
The Love and Acceptance wheel.
Belonging, attachment, and the lived experience of being wanted exactly as you are. The wheel a child feels before they can name it.
Stretch 2 · Settling InBelonging, attachment, and the experience of being unconditionally valued.
A wheel is built from a center hub, a rim on the outside, and spokes that connect the two. On this page you will find every hub inside this wheel, the spokes that hold each hub steady, and the rim that ties the whole wheel together.
Hubs and spokes
The building blocks inside this wheel.
Each hub is a bigger building block. Each spoke is a small, specific practice you can start with today. Pick one spoke. Leave the rest for later.
Unconditional Love
Expressing love and care that is not contingent on behavior or performance.
Spoke
Express Affection
Age-appropriate expressions of care, warmth, and affection.
Spoke
Quality Time
Dedicated, undistracted time together doing enjoyable activities.
Spoke
Positive Reinforcement
Acknowledging efforts and strengths rather than focusing on deficits.
Spoke
Secure Base
Being a reliable, available presence the child can return to.
Sense of Belonging
Helping the child feel they are part of a family and community.
Spoke
Family Integration
Including the child in family traditions, rituals, and decision-making.
Spoke
Social Connections
Supporting friendships and peer relationships.
Spoke
Cultural Identity
Honoring and supporting the child's cultural background and heritage.
Spoke
Inclusion
Ensuring the child feels welcome and included in all family activities.
Validation and Acceptance
Accepting the whole child, including their history and struggles.
Spoke
Acknowledge Feelings
Validating the child's emotional experiences as real and important.
Spoke
Celebrate Uniqueness
Recognizing and celebrating what makes the child special.
Spoke
Empathetic Responses
Responding to the child's struggles with empathy rather than judgment.
Spoke
Constructive Feedback
Offering feedback that builds up rather than tears down.
The rim
Unconditional Positive Regard
The child's internalized sense that they are worthy of love regardless of behavior.
The rim is the outer edge of the wheel, the part that actually touches the trail. Hubs and spokes give the wheel its shape. The rim is what the child experiences, day after day, as the wagon rolls forward.
Help pages
When this wheel gets loud.
If you are in a hard moment right now, these pages meet you where you are.
Keep reading
Where to go next.
Read another wheel, or open the glossary for any word that tripped you up.
Common questions.
Why is Love and Acceptance one of the four wheels?
Belonging, attachment, and the experience of being unconditionally valued.
What does the Unconditional Love hub cover?
Expressing love and care that is not contingent on behavior or performance. It contains 4 spokes: Express Affection, Quality Time, Positive Reinforcement, Secure Base.
What does the Sense of Belonging hub cover?
Helping the child feel they are part of a family and community. It contains 4 spokes: Family Integration, Social Connections, Cultural Identity, Inclusion.
What does the Validation and Acceptance hub cover?
Accepting the whole child, including their history and struggles. It contains 4 spokes: Acknowledge Feelings, Celebrate Uniqueness, Empathetic Responses, Constructive Feedback.
What is the rim of the Love and Acceptance wheel?
Unconditional Positive Regard. The child's internalized sense that they are worthy of love regardless of behavior.